If you were a cannabis strain, what strain would you be?
There’s nothing like spending holidays with the family. Nobody knows you quite as well – but that also means your family is uniquely qualified to push your buttons.
And we bet you know a few tricks to get under their skin too.
So, to help you relieve some of the pre-holiday scaries, we’ve put together a list of the best cannabis strains for our favorite family roles.
Whether you’re the cool, 420-friendly aunt distributing medicated brownies, or the bad boy cousin sneaking a quick vape sesh in the backyard before dinner, we’ve got you covered.
What strains of weed are there?
Let’s cover the wide world of weed strains to get started. There are a lot, so clearly, we’re not going to cover all – or even most of them.
In fact, according to some estimates, there are over 700 known weed strains commercially available in the US today. That’s a whole lot of ganja!
For cannabis newbies, this can lead to many questions about the differences between smoking indica, sativa, or hybrid. For example, what kind of high is indica? Which strain makes you sleepy, indica or sativa?
So, before we get to the meat of our selected subject, let’s take a closer look.
Do different strains of weed have different effects?
The way cultivators breed different weed strains creates unique effects particular to the strain. Effects can range from indica dominant strains that produce a sedating body high to sativa-dominant strains that can help you tackle your holiday shopping list, to hybrid strains that fall somewhere in the middle.
The best weed strain for you depends on a host of factors, including your tolerance and personality. You’ll probably find a way to fit both indica and sativa into your rotation, to experience both effects.
To quote the late, great Juice WRLD, “I found your vibe, and I found my high.” So let’s dig into the best marijuana strains for creativity, relaxation, and more, depending on your family role.
The Best Weed Strain for Your Family Personality Type
The Chilled Out Earth Mama
If there’s a loaf of bread rising in your kitchen right now, or you’re knee-deep in a macrame plant holder project, we bet your family sees you as the chilled-out earth mama type.
Whether you’re the mom to kids named after natural features or folk singers, or you radiate loving maternal energy, Blueberry Headband is for you. It is tension relieving and relaxing, and it pairs perfectly with a Buddha Bowl and the new Lorde LP on vinyl.
The Stressed Out Gen X Dad
Frankly, you don’t know how it happened. One day you were chilling out, blasting Nirvana, and the next thing you know, you were forty, surrounded by screaming kids, scheming relatives, and, to be fair, an awe-inspiring record collection.
Take the edge off with a soothing dose of Bubba Fett, which creates a calming, deeply contemplative effect powerful enough that you won’t scream out loud when someone insists on playing All I Want for Christmas is You for the millionth time. Breathe the Bubba in deep. You’ve got DEVO’s Merry Something all cued up.
The Zen Sister
You drink matcha instead of espresso.
You tell your family you’re on a wellness journey.
You own many pairs of recycled water bottle exercise pants.
You have a favorite YouTube yoga teacher.
And you own a phone with three meditation apps installed!
You’re the zen sister – which means you’re a perfect fit for the Stardawg strain. This indica-dominant hybrid is ideal for leading family stretches, convincing everyone to eat their vegetables, and making it through the holidays with your chill intact.
The Bold Brother
You’re the baby of the family and not afraid to take chances.
Or you’re the oldest, whose every move was applauded by mom and dad.
Either way, you’re the risk-taker of the family, the big dreamer who’s always hopping from one venture to the next.
WOOFing on a Norwegian reindeer farm? Skateboarding in Paris? Wherever you’ve been the past few years, we know your family’s happy to have you home.
Celebrate the return of the prodigal son with the joyful, uplifting White 99 strain, a perfect match for your fearless spirit.
The CrossFit Aunt
You’ve been trying to get the family to participate in Thanksgiving turkey trots, and Festival of Lights fun runs for at least a decade. A morning jog is your favorite medicine. And yeah, maybe you’re still a little pissed that nobody else wanted to make the holiday dinners fully paleo.
You’re the hardworking, butt-kicking CrossFit Aunt, and you need a strain that matches your energy level.
The euphoria-inducing, creatively stimulating Sour Joker strain fits the bill, the perfect head-clearing day strain for your stamina and drive. And cottonmouth isn’t a problem when you tote around that giant all-day water bottle!
The Creative Cousin
You work as an art teacher, graphic designer, writer, or some other creative role in your full-time job.
On the weekends, you paint in your studio, jam out with your band, and go to museums, posting all your adventures on Instagram.
We bet your younger cousins think you’re the ultimate cool grownup – and to be honest, so do we!
Honor your creative self with a toke or two of the Lavender Jones strain, a sativa-dominant hybrid with enlivening, creativity-boosting qualities that make it the ultimate day strain.
An ideal accompaniment to artistically wrapping a mountain of gifts or winning the annual cookie icing contest.
The Fun Uncle
You’re the king of pillow forts and piggyback rides, always ready with a bad joke or a harmless prank.
More than anyone else in the family, you’ve kept your childlike inner joy alive, and they appreciate it, even if you’re less willing than your siblings to talk about real estate and political news with your dad.
Connect with your fun-loving self with the Pineapple Express strain, which creates a creative, happy, and stimulating sense of euphoria guaranteed to bust the grown-up conversation blahs.
Organizing an impromptu post toke caroling party is, of course, optional.
The Cool Aunt
If you can’t think of who the cool aunt is in your family, it’s probably you.
Maybe you’re a blood relative.
Maybe you’re a beloved friend of one of the older members, who swans in every other holiday season with a bag full of gifts from your business travels like some bougie Santa Clause.
You’re sophisticated, fearless, and everyone is just a little bit jealous of your jet-setting lifestyle.
You need a strain that matches your energy like Durban Poison, which is mood-elevating, energizing, and as positive as you. It pairs well with a glass of chilled chardonnay.
The Grumpy Grandpa
Let’s face it; we’ve all ended up like the grumpy grandpa at one point or another. Sometimes the holidays just seem like they’re crashing in on you, with all the plans, family drama, and endless events to attend.
Sometimes grandpa just needs a rest!
The long-lasting Primus OG strain is the perfect cannabis strain when you need to unwind after a hectic day. Its relaxing, sedating effects pair perfectly with a glass of warm eggnog (bourbon optional!) and a classic holiday movie on TV.
Kick back and relax, grandpa. You’ve earned it!